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I'm a Meat Joy Groupie

By Daniel Kane

[Written on the way up to Allentown, PA, for the Lehigh Valley Pride show. Daniel caught a ride with the band in Bluey. A raucous good time was had by most.]

The Meat Joy.
The Joy of Meat.
The kind of band you want to meet.

It's true I've never seen them play,
But I'm a groupie anyway.

I've fallen in love without seeing a show.
And now I hope that they don't blow.

What if their sound gives me a rash?
What if I'd rather lick up trash?

What if their emo-vibes just suck?
What if I'd rather be hit by a truck?

They'll give no rash,
They're saltier than trash.

Their emo-vibes could never suck,
They're street-cred could stop a truck.

I am a groupie show unseen…
But there was that nice Meat Joy wet dream.

I am a groupie hear me roar.
But which band member needs a whore?

Todd, Rob, Kyle, Heather
Maybe I could do them all together.

The Meat Joy.
The joy of meat.
The joy of traveling in their back seat.

Blue-y is more than their van.
Blue-y is part of the band.

Now, I'm fondling Kyle's taut bass drum.
Upon his cymbals I rest my thumb.
While I don't plan to fuck the amp,
I would if I could, I'm a meat joy tramp.

Plastic cups with residue of beer,
Are nestled amongst their traveling gear.

Heather just said, "I could drive forever."

Drive the van?
Drive the band?
Drive the evolution of common man?

The Meat Joy.
The joy of meat.
Blue-y the van is a sheltering treat.

Flash floods all around Baltimore.
Blue-y protects us from the pour.
Inside the van, the sky is blue,
Ceiling felt rings so true.

Heather scans the radio,
Heather scans the road,
Heather's base-worn fingers control my soul.

I'm a Meat Joy groupie,
I need their meat,
If I'm a baby,
They're my baby seat.

I want to tenderize, flavorize,
To see mascara on Heather's eyes.

As I Meat Joy groupie I am at their feet,
If the band was a boob,
I'd suck their teat.

Heather just pointed out Blue Ball Ave,
A sense of humor this band does have.

The radio just stalled on Madonna,
And I'm imaging getting head from a piranha.

As much as aroused piranha teeth hurt,
I'd succumb nightly, like Ernie does for Burt.

The pain, the bites, my bleeding cock,
For the Meat Joy I'd do it…and it would rock!

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